dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
