Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I need a beard to bite.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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