Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
