Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
