Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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