Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize