i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
