I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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