We named our party play list daddy issues
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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