You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
