i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
third nipple confirmed
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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