you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
