Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
When did angry sex become our thing?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
