Are we in a gay sports bar?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
