i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
