I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
