Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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