i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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