Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I wish you could order shots online.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
