We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Watching her eat just hurts me
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
