I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
