i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Less talking, more tequila
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
