last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize