If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
