We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
