Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
