There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Couch. On fire.
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