hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
