4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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