You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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