you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize