Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Randomize
