Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
