I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
