Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
