i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
