Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
