Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
