I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
jump out the window naked night went bad
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