woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
