It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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