Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
