SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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