I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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