I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
no you cant smoke seaweed
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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