I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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