I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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