dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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