pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
