Nicole vs. Life
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize