Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
