Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
