Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize