I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
