i don't like sucking hair
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
