there was a trapeze. enough said
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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