in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I queefed so loud it echoed.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
