he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
