i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
